living my life through....M.G.

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away."

"Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."

70inNovember

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down
It feels so good
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free
Throw it down
Hold it up
You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

Wear it out
Melt it down
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

feelings...

(sometimes that's what i feel like) ha

are they always strong?
do they always linger?
is there always some sort of trigger?

i can pray.
i can hope.
i can attempt.
but i seem to fail in this area.

the last 5 years have been pretty stinking great overall, sure...there were bad days, or even bad weeks/months but all in all i learned and grew and made some of the best friends in the entire world. now these years, i want to remember the memories, the emotions, the friends, the experiences....

but...what about before those years? what if i'd rather not remember. if i want that part of my life pushed so far back in my memory that i have a hard time remembering it--even when things remind me of that time.

i still remember being told this story about a lady who wanted so badly to forget this certain experience/person/time in her life. she prayed and prayed and moved on with her life as much as possible--and eventually she barley had any recollection of that previous time in her life. i desire this--the more i think today the more i wish this were possible. i've prayed the prayer--but there is still this lack of moving on (sometimes) in this area.

my friends are such great encouragement to me especially in this area but i just wish that it'd be gone.

anyways--lalalalal that was a bunch of blah, huh. today is Labor Day...i like holidays--honestly, i'm not really sure how/when this one came up or what it's for (unless it's really a day to rest) but i like it regardless.

Hurricane Gustav is still coming to New Orleans. Boy do I hope it turns and hits somewhere else--and then I guess there's another storm behind "Him". --boo, this is the thing about the south. At least we/Savannah rarely gets hit. Oh, and my parents are coming in less than 2 weeks, woo.

well, it's time to un-labor.

silver. bronze. gold.

there's been nothing on TV today except for the Olympics. I like watching it sometimes--but not today. I finally got to watch Sex and the City last night, the movie, and it was SO good. :) Who would've thought you could cry so much during THAT movie.

so i'm back in savannah and i'd say the rain yesterday was a bit overdone, come on fay....leave us be! it flooded in a lot of areas but thankfully those areas were not my apartment, my office, my car, etc...

my parents will be here to visit in 3 weeks. i'm excited.

friends....when are you coming to visit? ok- that's what i thought.

plans for the night, i duno. something though....besides baking 5 boxes of brownies for our meeting tomorrow.

and this is how it ended.

Toto you're not in Kansas anymore....

Well--I have been since Friday and it's been great. Came to Manhattan on Saturday and am leaving tomorrow--it's been good to see some people and just be in Manhattan. I do love this city--for sure, but am happy where I am at in life right now. I love my job and the people I work with. Friends are coming slowly, but I'm doing just fine!

My hair is no longer bleach blonde, thank goodness.... :)
My friends are the best ever. Seriously.
I love my family.
I miss Kansas--but Georgia is as sweet as a peach.

:)

soon.

i want to go to Africa.

so long sweet summer

Summer is almost over. Well--for some people. Summer is still here in Savannah. August is hotter than heck and I guess this entire month is this way. Plus, most of the students don't start school until right after Labor Day--soo summer isn't over here. This is the first summer I've had that at the end of it I won't be going back to school. For the last 18-20 years or so I've been in school. Now....I'm a grown-up, or something along the lines of one at least.

I work.
I work.
Sometimes I hang out.
But that's about all I do. Thankfully, I love my job. Yes, it's only been a little less than 2 months but we all know if I still love it now I'll probably still love it later. Ministry, church, administration, planning, etc....sounds like a great one to me!

I don't miss Kansas per say but I do miss many of the people that live there. I've probably heard the saying 20 times now "You're not in Kansas anymore", and yes, I do realize that but I wonder if it's hit me yet. Maybe just recently? Maybe not.

I watch TV still--not as much as before since I work but still enough. No DVR, no 500 channels so my new fav shows are at the mercy of the 12 channels I get--for now: Friends, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill and Greys (re-runs), CSI when it's on and the news....crazy I know.

MCC won't be the same without me.
Ha--who I am kidding. I got out of there just in time. :)

This is easier and harder than I expected.