Story of My Life (currently)

He strategically places us in situations in life, in which we can make the greatest impact, even if this means being separated from things that we want and the people we are most familiar with.

Days of Retreating

It's been a while since I've read the Gospel of Luke in it's entirety. I remember now why reading a book through is helpful -- and rereading it can be even more so. I am one of those Christians, girls, whatever you want to call me who likes to read other stories and books...about Jesus, of course and His life and His saving grace and forgiveness but stray away from the Bible at times.

I'd say the Bible has the best stories of all. Especially when it's Jesus himself teaching. Not that Don Miller and Francis Chan don't have great things to say (they do, and there is a lot of things I've learned and been able to apply because of their books) ... but there's something more about the Bible. I suppose this is no new thinking ... just renewed thinking for me and it was much needed, today, especially.

Sometimes I like reading about all the "good" things Jesus has to offer us; hope, forgiveness, love, mercy, and the list goes on ... and I like reading all those encouraging passages from  the Epistles especially but the life of Jesus was INCREDIBLE. Sometimes I forget it -- or maybe it's not that I forget it but I have other things on my mind like how will I pay for this bill this month or when am I going to meet friends here St. Charles/St. Louis, or why can't I live closer to my family. Anyways -- they're all about ME and as I've been told and taught this life isn't about me and one of these days I hope I'll get the picture.

Anyways - I haven't posted in a while so there's an update on my spiritual lacking or stupidity at times and I'm learning a lot. I feel like I ventured to a Christian college and learned a LOT about myself (thankful for most of the situations) and then I moved to Savannah and learned even more about myself (more grown up type things I suppose) and I thought, eh ... maybe I've learned enough about myself and others for a while. But I've realized that learning about myself, others, and especially Jesus should never and will never stop. That's good -- I just needed a little refresher course. 

I like learning things about myself...for the most part. Sure, there's things we find out when we're put into circumstances and we're like "dang, I wish I wasn't this way" but it's beneficial at least to know who we are. I find that important especially right now when I don't have a strong community of friends near me. And not to mention, before I meet this prince charming of mine it'd be pretty awesome to figure out a lot about who I am, what I want, what I'm about etc before I drag him along for the ride.

All this to say - I'm growing up, whether I like it or not and it's not always going to be easy. I heard a lot about the direction of one's life during the beginning of January. Direction, not intention determines your destination. I think there's been several times in my life where my intention truly has been good (possibly even God lead) but the direction that intention is leading me is not necessarily where I want to end up. Will God use me where I land? Sure, I think so ... if I'm open and willing to let Him do His thing, but when does being happy and liking where I am become selfish? I'm happy where I am, don't get me wrong. Have I been happier in other places? Sure ... But who says it's all about happiness? (LS if you read this I know you'll have something to say, please do...) and when will I learn the difference of happiness and contentment and joy? I thought Bible College and millions in college loans would have sorted all of that out for me.

Do I choose to be joyful daily? Sure, I think so for the most part ....do I complain sometimes (maybe more than I should) probably so -- which then makes me ask the question if I'm content.

I just remembered I'm blogging and not writing in my journal so the blabbing will end now. It's good to write sometimes for me ... helps me see my thoughts and think through them a little more clearly. Plus, comments sometimes help too (and sometimes they don't ... so if you're not going to be helpful don't comment :) -- kidding). Anyways - today is my Spiritual Retreat Day and I'm very thankful.

I'm learning and I'm living and it's all for a greater purpose so here I go continuing on this little journey of mine ... 

Oh last thing -  I'm excited for a few upcoming trips. I'm going on a cruise with one of my best friends, Kathie, to the Bahamas in March so that's going to be super fun and then in April I'm heading to LA for a conference that should also be great -- plus, I'll get to spend some quality time with another one of my bffs, Holly.

And to all a good day. :) XoXo! 

Things I miss - pre 2009

A friend and I were talking the other day about how good things used to be. Not that they're not good now so maybe good isn't the right word. How care-free things used to be. I mean, Christian College has it's rules but Christian College girls are sometimes silly  (and by sometimes I mean always)-- if you went to Bible College you know what I mean. That being said I had some pretty crazy friends thus had some pretty crazy times. Here are a few things I miss ... or at least wish that they could happen every now and then.

1. I miss getting all dolled up to go eat chips and salsa from Chilis -- or just going to Chilis.

2. I miss having house parties. Ny-quill and all.

3. I miss staying up until all hours of the night on IM -- even if the person was in the next room or you'd see them the next day. 

4. I miss dying my hair or at least attempting to and then having to get it fixed the next day.

5. I miss game nights. I could have these now ... but the group of people who used to come to game night is irreplaceable ... unforgettable memories, seriously.

6. I miss passing notes in class. This sound like 4th grade. :)

7. I miss living life with some of the greatest people I will ever know. 

8. I miss staying up all night to write papers -- while taking non FDA approved caffeine pills & such.

9. I miss dorm drama. Oh so funny. 

10. I miss college .... regardless of all the homework, the stress of getting good grades, the drama that comes along with boys and girls interacting, and some just nasty people I miss it. I miss the people ... 

When I win the lottery (not that I even play) I will buy houses for me and 40 of my best friends in the same neighborhood. What a sweet sweet life.

In 5 years I hope I'll have 10 more things to miss from the present. 

Post-Thanksgiving Thankfulness

So it's 2 days after Thanksgiving and I'm still extremely thankful. That being said I really think I could learn something from Paul who tells us he has learned to be content regardless of the circumstances he's in. Hm - I'm thankful, but content always, no. And why's that? I tend to compare to many things ... maybe it's a "me" thing ... maybe it's an entitlement thing, who knows ... but I wish there was a simple fix, an easy switch I could flip off and I would no longer compare. Compare my life to what it was during certain "happy" times" or compare it to what I know could be "happy" times in the future. I am thankful NOW. I have so many things to be thankful for NOW ... so I want this feeling of contentment. Well ... here's to reminding myself how good I do have it. (I'll stop at 10 otherwise I could go on and on)

1. I'm thankful for a God who loves me regardless of my mistakes and inadequacy.

2. I'm thankful for a wonderful family. Specially 2 parents who have loved each other for over 30 years and have loved me for almost 25 no matter what. I'm thankful for the love we share.

3. I'm thankful for some of the worlds greatest friends. No need to specify who you are because you know BUT I'm thankful for real friendship - with honesty, and trust, and fights, and tears, and laughter. 

4. I'm thankful for a roof over my head. I love/enjoy my apartment ... this is something I take for granted.

5. I'm thankful for my 2 kitties ... Zazu and Meiko. I know what you're thinking..."crazy cat lady" but there's something to be said for these cuddly furry little girls! :)

6. I'm thankful for Honda's. Amen.

7. I'm thankful for medicine. Weird, sorta ... but I've recently been diagnosed with more problems than a 24 year old should have so I am thankful for medicine ... that can help correct these problems.

8. I'm thankful for DVR. 

9. I'm thankful for the church. For my job there - there teaching and community that is shared and the love I feel from some of those I work with.

10. I am thankful for the past I've lived - the lessons I've learned, the friends I've made, the fun I've had, the tears I've shed. I'm just thankful. 

Well - enough is enough. I have so much more I could say. I need to learn the power of being content in any and all circumstances. If you've learned this (the hard or easy way) and have some suggestions - comment below :)

Show me the way.

Stick a fork in me ...

So I've made it to St. Louis -- well, I'm actually living in St. Charles, but I'm here.

1. The weather is perfect. So far, in about 2 months I won't have the same opinion but for now ... I love me some 70's.

2. I like the idea/surroundings of a bigger city. St. Charles has a lot to offer (Target is only 1.5 miles away) -- and St. Louis isn't far either ... so this means there should be plenty to do :) -- Come visit, I'll show you.

3. I like my apartment. Before I got here I didn't think I did -- but I am here and I do. There's enough room for everything. An extra bedroom, washer & dryer and I guess that's about all I need.

4. I got a new car. Thank the good Lord. I'm the proud new owner of a 2009 Honda Civic LX 4 door. I'll be paying for this the rest of my life (not really, at all ... ) but anyways, I'm happy as a clam.

5. I start work tomorrow. Nervous, happy, excited ... all of these emotions. I know I'll miss SCC and my family there though ... 

That's all I have to say for now, really. I'm 24 and feel like I've moved enough to be 50 years old ... so I'm praying I'm here for a while ... and I'm also praying that prince charming will be showing up very soon. ;)

Tata for now. 

P.S.

-Grey's Anatomy starts in a few weeks ... as does many of my other favorite shows.

-New Moon is coming soon ... November 20th, I think I can wait!

XoXo.

Who knew

I'm moving to St. Louis soon -- who would've thought.

Senior Pastor's Executive Assistant at Harvester Christian Church.

My life takes so many turns. :)

How do you measure a year?

In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights? In cups of coffee?

In inches? In miles? In laughter? In strife?

In truths learned? In times cried? 

I've been in Savannah for 13 months now ... crazy long time. Still feels like just a few months -- I'm sure eventually it'll feel longer. Some aspects are "home like" and some are still getting there. Not sure how long that takes. Manhattan maybe took 2 years, I don't really remember but I know eventually it'll all feel like home.

I moved here for my job and thankfully I'm still here for my job :) Which means I love it. I've also made some friends along the way which is quite helpful for me.

I still do wonder though if I'll make friends like I've had in the past (they're still in my life, I just means friends I made before Savannah). I know I'm supposed to be here -- it's very clear so that's reassuring. 

Besides moving to a new, unfamiliar city in the last year I can't really say much has happened...which might be a 1st for me...and maybe that's good. No big, eventful news ... do I want something big, I duno ... maybe!

In the next year let's see what'll happen:

-I'll turn 24. (In less than a month actually) Gifts accepted.

-Trip to Orlando ... coming soon and I cannot wait!

-Getting a new car, hopefully sooner than later, '09 Toyota Camry here I come. 

-I'll make a few trips to see my parents.

-I'll go over-sees on a missions trip .... TBD.

-I'll find prince charming (Unlikely -- but hopeful)

-And I'll buy a house (again, maybe unlikely but more possible than the above)

-Oh, of course I'll learn and grow and all that good stuff too.

I think you learn a lot about yourself when you move away from everything you've ever known -- surroundings, friends, family, etc... I think I suggest this for everyone (or almost everyone).

In other news: I saw The Proposal and it was really great and really fun. Boys, you'd even like this one. I saw the preview for New Moon which isn't coming out until November 20 but I'm super excited. And lastly, I cannot believe it's basically July. Time flies when you get old and grow up, I guess ...

Plans for the 4th = ZERO ... Savannah is too hot to spend it outside and I'm not sure there's anything else to do. Friends in far away places -- fly to me.

"You know that love is a gift from above.

Share love, give love, spread love.

Measure your life in love."

I choose joy.

For some time now I have been seeking what we call true joy, contentment, happiness. Is there ever an "ending point?" Nope, I don't think so...for whatever reason I always think I can be a little happier a little more content -- and maybe that's not a bad thing. Thankfully at this point and time in my life I am truly filled with joy. I have desired to find my "nitch" ... to find a career/job that I love, a place where I can call home (slowly, but surely...it doesn't happen over night).

Are there things I don't have that I WANT, sure! I'm not sure anyone could say they have everything they WANT (need, sure...I'd say so) but I wouldn't mind if 20 of my closest friends moved to Savannah, if my parents lived just a little closer, if I didn't have student loans, if prince charming really existed and was in my life, I owned a house and a new car, etc... :) You get the picture -- I guess I can want a lot sometimes, ugh. But I am TRULY happy. I am finally disciplined in my relationship with God, I am learning that honesty is the best policy -- in any/every situation (with tact at times, of course), I love my job, absolutely love it, I am living in a place where I feel free and loved, I have people in my life who care about me, and I am happy! 

I was reading over this the other day and liked it...so I'll share: http://kevinpierpont.com/217/true-joy-philippians-11-2/

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude." 

So ~ I'm happy I'm happy. :) 

Things I look forward to:

-Parents visiting in May

-My throat getting rid of this soreness stuff

-A vacation ... even if it's not till Orlando with my oldies, but goodies.

That's all! :)

to every season - turn, turn, turn.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace

i always seem to look back at the past a lot or constantly dream and wonder about my future. what about the joy of living in the now...of taking in every day, every moment that God has given me. there may be a time to reminisce in the past and a time to anticipate the future but for the most part i need to live in the present season. i wonder if this is hard for others as it is for me. and this time, right now, is rather good :) 

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. ~ Alexandar Graham Bell

It's only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis! ~Unknown

what time is it for you?

a lot can happen in 5 years

on my drive back from hilton head island today visiting a good friend i was thinking about how time flies (at least in retrospect it does...not always each day, but you understand).... and i was also thinking about how much can change it such a little period of time.

high school (jr. year ish) till freshman year of college in JoCo = lots of big changes. (what the heck was i thinking is my response back to most of that nonsense)

2004-2008 = life in Manhattan. lots of great memories, tons of amazing friends (seriously best part of those 4 years) and a lot of life lessons learned, learned again, and now mastered :)

2008-now = moved to savannah....found a career/job i absolutely love.. i work with some of the most talented and loving and caring people i've ever met. i've found my "nitch" ... or at least part of it. i've made some good friends, learned some more about myself...and am now a grown up? really. yah, i think just about.

anyways -- a LOT has happened in my life in the last 5 years. some good, some bad...lived a lot, learned a lot, and now just flying through my mid-twenties.

i can honestly say that 5 years ago i would have NEVER imagined i'd be working in ministry, in savannah georgia -- graduated from bible college and away from all things familiar.

i'm still learning. but i think i've got a lot to teach too.

i'm staying put. (for the most part)

half full...half empty

I'd like to think that I typically look at the glass half-full .... hopefully I'm not fooling myself!

I'm leading a small group and we're going through a book by Andy Stanley called Take It To The Limits.... there's some good stuff in it. I guess we don't actually start till next week but since I'm "leading" I figured I should know that I was talking about. Here was a funny, or at least I thought it was funny, quote... "Today, there are three kinds of people: the have's, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves." Haha....good one :)

I think 2009 has some potential.
-Holly is coming to visit in April for 5 days, WOOHOO!!!!
-October will be a fun month. Orlando with some of my bestest friends!

I saw Bride Wars last night. It was pretty hilarious! I love girls night with great food and movies.

Life in Savannah is slowly becoming home....I don't know how long it takes necessarily but it's crazy to think I've been here about 8 months already.

Ok--ta ta for now.

2009.

ok, so i never do these and even when i have i rarely accomplish them. we'll see how 2009 goes in about 365 more days, right?!

1. no more coke.
2. pay off credit cards.
3. make a trip to kansas.
4. make a trip to colorado.
5. make a trip to arizona.
(i'm betting i won't/can't make all of those trips...)
6. go to Orlando with some of my best friends.
7. find a boy. a nice one, a little older, mature, good looking, etc...
8. read the other 3 books after Twilight. (this will be done within the week)
9. every years resolutions: work out more, read the Bible more, trust more, fear less.
10. enjoy life.

that's all, for now. those seem pretty do-able. well, except # 7 probably :) but my imaginary boyfriend Edward will suffice until something better comes along.

2008 was.....some of the worst times of my life, some of the greatest change in my life, and some pretty good times. i can't say some of the greatest times were in 2008 but i sure am thankful for a lot of things -- like my friends, my family, my job, and grace.

and to all a goodnight.

--oh, and a thought i should remember next year. do NOT spend New Years Eve on the beach when it is 35 degrees....(75 the last 2 months tricked me tonight!!)

Dear Cupid....

We have got to discuss your aim.

mg at her best.

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say cause there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.

Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes to simply be human. Maybe, we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope...

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

don't stop believing .... wooooah

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

flying.

2008 flew by... at least in retrospect it totally did.

and to see where i was at the beginning of the year (uggh, hated life -- hah) and now where i am at the end of the year (it's WONDERFUL....)

not much more than that to say right now.
we had our work christmas party today! it was fun -- got a $20.00 gift card to target so that never hurts. getting ready to have small group at my house (we are watching The Truth Project -- my advice, unless you want to feel like you're taking another college Bible course don't do it)

it's freezing here, almost. no one told me it was cold in savannah.

i THINK i may go to kc for new years. sounds fun. new years kiss? neah...but fun at least.

xoxo.

--will some things never change? will some genders never change? :)

i won't hesitate no more, no more

how many times can i break till i shatter. over the line can't define what i'm after.

--i made it through the crowds at 3am yesterday morning. i can't say everyone did though...did you hear about the poor 37 year-old Wal-Mart worker who was trampled and died at a Wal-Mart in Long Island?? Seriously...what are we coming to? And then...when they closed the store because this man DIED people were mad at the other workers. Give me a break.

Destin was beautiful yesterday. Pictures to come soon. Went to the beach, shopped at a few outlets, checked out an Irish Pub with my parents, and then ate at P.F. Changs for dinner....a pretty wonderful day if you ask me.

Today on the other hand was long...and boring. I spent about 8 hours driving in the rain, the dark, and the construction/traffic back to Savannah. I am home now. And my roommate just put up a Christmas Tree. It's the most wonderful time of the year :)

Some of my friends get to hang out together this weekend and I won't lie I'm extremely jealous and bummed. I miss them...I miss all my friends. --Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold.-- Which one is which though??

2 new sorta fav songs: Shattered by O.A.R. and I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. Check them out - sooo good.

And for now, goodnight. If anyone reads this let me know :)

gobble gobble.

Thanksgiving...thank you pilgrims. I'd have to say the meal today was especially delicious. Walking on the beach after such a yummy meal isn't so bad either. It's weird my parents are living in Florida again....Thanksgiving and Christmas on the beach -- I guess there's nothing to complain about there.
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I am blessed, immensely. I have a wonderful family and a great group of friends who love me so much....not to mention I love them all too :) Sometimes things don't always go the way you want....seems to be a trend in this life of mine, but honestly...I suppose I wouldn't have it any other way.

FYI: I still totally and completely love my job. Seriously...I know I wasn't one who was fond of working and all but if I'm going to work then this is exactly what I want to be doing....and I don't think I could find a better church to do it at. In the mean time, prince charming....find your way to Savannah and sweep me off my feet. :)

No final plans for New Years Eve yet....New Orleans, Panama City Beach, good 'ol Savannah...not sure -- suggestions or if you'd like to visit I'm all yours! :)

Going shopping at 3am tomorrow so I suppose it's time to sleep.

Xoxo.

well

damn it.

at least it's Thanksgiving and I do have a lot to be thankful for.

living my life through....M.G.

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away."

"Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."